The Pull Between Future You and Present You: Finding Balance in the Tension

I've been noticing a pattern. It shows up in my 1:1 coaching conversations, it showed up again and again in my Vision Board workshop this past Saturday, and honestly—it's alive in my own life, too.

It's the pull between aspiration and connection. Between planning for the future and living in the present. Between honoring your own needs and showing up for the people you care about.

At times, these can feel like competitors. If I give my best energy to a project at work, do I have enough left for the people I love? If I'm fully present with family or friends, am I neglecting the future I'm hoping to create? If I make time for exercise & meal prep this week, I'll have to disappoint [someone].

What I keep coming back to is this: there isn't a perfect solution that makes this tension go away. And it's not that I haven't looked for it or tried it…I've been trying to figure this out pretty much all my life.

Time and again I am reminded: This tension is part of being human, especially in a world that asks us to do and be so much.

The real work isn't about erasing the competition—it's about shifting how we hold it.

Here's a practice you might try:

Imagine two parts of you sitting down together—Future You and Present You. Future You is aspirational, visionary, pulling you forward. Present You is relational, grounded, reminding you of what matters right here and now.

Ask each of them, "What do you need from me this week?"

Then listen. You may find that Future You wants one clear step toward a goal, while Present You is craving unhurried time with someone you love. When you hear both voices, you can respond to each—even in small ways—without letting one drown out the other.

Balance isn't a perfect split. It's integrity: living in alignment with what matters most, moment by moment.

So I'll ask you—what are Future You and Present You whispering to you right now?

In the messy middle - with you,

Marijke Ocean