This is just how it is.

Today I feel a little bit tired.

My nose is runny. My eyes and throat are a little bit itchy.

I don't feel especially inspired to write or share.

Small things - like pants that zip and button - seem hard.

Some days, this is how it is.

I used to argue with myself on days like this.

"You must be productive!"

"Let's find something you can muster up the energy to do."

"Whatever you do, don't tell anyone how lazy you were today!"

If that didn't work, I'd imagine catastrophes. See if I could inspire action with fear.

"Maybe you're depressed. This is the spiral beginning."

"You might never think of anything clever to say again...you weren't ever that clever anyway..."

"Time to pack it in. You aren't that good at this."

Today some of these voices still appear, but I just shake my head sweetly and say - with kind, gentle authority -

"Sometimes, this is just how it is."

Today I feel like a fallow field. Nothing much going on - it would appear.

But underneath the surface something mysterious and life giving is taking place. If I can just let it do its thing.

Today, this is how it is.

Much love,

Marijke Ocean