Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.

Have you been dutifully figuring out how you can change yourself to be more happy, comfortable, or successful in your current situation?

Maybe you've been:

Working on your mindset. Sharpening your skills. Changing your perspective. Adding more joy & play. Increasing your presence. Delegating. Taking a day off. Adding more self-care.

In other words...you've been doing anything in your power to feel better.

This is good. And it can take effort, intention. It works. Sometimes.

If you give this a good ol' try...and you still feel like crap...

Maybe the people or circumstances just suck.

I work with a lot of over functioning, high achieving, leaning towards perfectionistic people.

We like to take a lot of personal responsibility for our situations.

That's one reason it can take some serious time and objective feedback to decide...

"It's not me, it's them."

For instance - based on true stories in my practice:

• The people at work are in fact jerks.

• Your boss is unreasonable.

• Your husband is not capable of loving you the way you want to be loved.

• The investor does not appreciate your talents.

• Your toddler is being an a$$hole (...this one is a stage they are likely to grow out of...the other people on this list, maybe not...)

Understanding this is a game changer.

In fact, I can often feel people's entire body relax when they finally get clear about this apparently bad news.

The truth, even a painful truth, feels like a relief.

Big caveat here though!!!

You are right to be skeptical about people (yourself included!) who think everyone is out to get them.

But when you are in a situation that is NOT friendly to you and you finally see that it isn't your fault.

Alleluia!

Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they all aren't out to get you.

Within a few days of this realization my clients often start to laugh and joke more. All of a sudden they have access to new ideas, big dreams.

Of course, it's not truly all of a sudden.

Usually it comes with a months long commitment to understand - what am I supposed to learn here? How am I supposed to grow in this challenge?

Capped off with the "aha" --

This growing is mine. That nonsense is yours. Now we can figure out what's next.

I'd love to talk to you if you are struggling and aren't sure - "Am I paranoid or is everyone actually out to get me?"

Let's see if we can't figure it out together.

xoxo,

Marijke Ocean