That was way harsh Tai...

Dennis and I were in California this spring for The Couples Course with Katie & Gay Hendricks.

I love Gay & Katie’s work for discovering your genius, increasing creativity, play and aliveness.

The couples course applies these concepts to romantic partnerships.

We loved it. Lots of nerves ahead of the event (this was our first time doing something like this). Totally worth it.

My gears have been really turning on one particular aspect of the training about criticism v. feedback.

One of the big teachings is how deadly criticism is for creativity, play, aliveness….even improvement.

But then another prompt is how powerful and important feedback is.

Who else out there has been thinking feedback and criticism are roughly the same thing?!?!?! (Me. Definitely me.)

Then I show up at this workshop and Katie Hendricks - who is generally a very insightful person - says unequivocally…and I’m paraphrasing here…

“Criticism = really bad, dream killer. Feedback = super good, essential ingredient.”

Huh?

So I spent quite a few weeks or so wondering what nuance I am missing.

And I think I’ve got it!

Criticism is a commentary on the qualities of the thing (person, work, writing). Practically speaking it’s me telling you about you.

Feedback is a commentary on my experience of the thing (person, work, writing). This is me telling you about me.

This is a HUGE distinction.

And it helps a lot of pieces come into place for me about why criticism is damaging but feedback can be useful.

What do you think of this? Is it helpful? Obvious? Still confusing? Need some examples?

I’d love to get your take on it!

Much love,

Marijke Ocean