When willpower isn't enough, try this.
I'm fascinated by how much my life is improved - my clients lives are improved - by small adjustments in habits and behaviors. Here are examples from my life:
10 minutes of exercise
10 minutes of meditation
Choosing 3 priorities for the week
Writing down our goals
Near-daily journaling
Doing these these things consistently has a significant impact on my health, productivity, happiness, and well-being.
But this is hard to do! Our natural instincts and reward centers don't really consistently reinforce these behaviors in the short-term...
I can know intellectually it's a good idea. I can have real evidence from my own experience that it works. And still some days finding the motivation is a challenge.
So here is the lightning rod, realization moment for me about this challenge - surrounding yourself with people that do the thing you want to do is as important (maybe more important) than rallying your own will power.
In other words, we can initiate improvements in our health and well-being but we also need to be around people who care in similar ways for their health & well-being.
If we work with people who are reactive and stressed - we will tend to be reactive and stressed.
If our friends are active people, we will tend to be active.
If our friends watch a lot of tv, we will tend to watch more tv.
If our co-workers tend to eat lots of salads & whole grains (or chicken finger subs), we will follow that trend.
The public health community has known this for a long time. Social interventions (health habits developed in groups & communities) stick better.
In the book Atomic Habits and the work of Dan Buettner (he popularized the idea of "Blue Zones" for longevity, happiness, etc...) you can read more about this community effect.
Buettner argues that changing your social group is the most effective way to change your habits.
Sound a little complicated? Not ready to move to another country? Yeah, me too.
BUT - here is what I take away from this science that feels practical:
Even if it seems "harder" to make happen, doing your new habit or goal with a friend or a group at least once a week makes a huge difference!
Setting intentions about the types of people you want to be around is also helpful (e.g. people who laugh a lot, people who are active, people who are spiritual, people who are lucky, people who raise alpacas and bake their own bread...let your sweet heart want what it wants!)
Does this inspire you? How?
I've been inspired to commit more time to the relationships I know uplift me.
Much love,
Marijke Ocean Joy
P.S. Looking for a group to support your search for more professional direction & meaning & purpose? Meet some great people and get weekly encouragement to explore some of these exquisite questions in my next group coaching program! Contact me here if you want to learn more! xoxo MOJK