6 Steps To Increase Grounded Confidence
Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, your values become your destiny. - Gandhi
It’s estimated we make about 35,000 decisions a day. Laboring over these decisions is impossible so our brain creates shortcuts to help.
Among the shortcuts are a (mostly unconscious) set of priorities, aka values.
When people talk about “knowing your values” – you are invited to make the unconscious priorities conscious.
When the way that you spend your time is misaligned with your current values, you’re likely to feel disengaged, drained, and disconnected.
When you begin to consciously choose your values - rather than let your values run like an app in the background - you may notice that the way you actually live doesn’t match up so well with your current priorities. (Discover Your Guiding Values.)
When you add experiences to your day that are consistent with your values, a feeling of grounded confidence returns.
One typical reason for a mismatch between our actions and our values is that our unconscious values are imprinted in us from a young age. Family, clergy, teachers, friends, neighbors, and culture have taught us what it is to be "good."
I'm not suggesting you need to argue with those influences. In fact, if you just go ahead and agree - that would be easier for everyone.
Alas, many of us have a few of our own ideas about what makes a good life or a good person. (Here is an activity to explore what your values are.)
Like my client Maria, who considers presence to be a top priority but notices she can’t stop checking in with work at home in the evening.
Old values about what it means to be a good employee and a hard worker were over riding her own instincts about attention and presence at home.
Or Kristin, who wants to live a life of courage but feels like her confidence drains right out of her when she considers speaking up about things at work that trouble her.
For her old values about loyalty, likeability, and job security were supercedeing her values around practicality and empathy.
Their default choices were being guided by old priorities.
While some of these priorities were still relevant, they were no longer dominant. The decision making shortcuts needed an update.
This kind of awareness begins to shift the path of your life. And it gives you that feeling of grounded confidence that you are on the right track.
If you want to connect more consciously with your values, download this activity here.
I walk you through a 6 step process to clarify your current values and align your life to those guiding priorities.
Much love,
Marijke Ocean
P.S. The outside influences telling you what is right and wrong, good or bad, can be really strong! If you feel you need someone to help you process conflicts between those voices and some questions inside you - please contact me here. I'd love to help!
P.P.S. Know anyone who is feeling off course with their best life or career? Forward them this blog or introduce us so we can chat!