Craving more feedback?

Are you craving more feedback?

We are often getting a lot of non-verbal feedback that's hard to decipher and requires us to make assumptions about what people think, feel, need, or want.

Now you may be one of those people that is especially gifted at guessing the meaning of all that non-verbal feedback really well...but I am not!

So I've got a tip for the rest of us about how to get more feedback.

It's pretty sophisticated. Are you ready? ...

Ask.

:-)

Now, before you run off with that little gem of wisdom...let me advise you:

The open ended statement/pseudo-question, "I'd like some feedback from you" is more likely to spark a deer in the headlight moment, followed by some throat clearing, and a mumbled "let me think about it."

This is not what you are after.

Here are a few alternative approaches:

  • I'd love to hear one thing I could start doing that would help you feel more supported.

  • What is one thing I could do in the future to be more persuasive about my position on an issue?

  • On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you think I did on that presentation? And then based on the score could you give me 1 reason why you gave me that score. And 1 thing I could do to get a higher score next time?

  • I wish we could spend a little more time together. What is something I could do/stop/change that would make that easier for you?

  • If you could wave a magic wand and I would stop doing one thing - what would it be?

Ok so the other BIG thing about feedback is how you receive it.

For now, I'll give you three quick pointers on receiving feedback in a way that will encourage MORE of it:

1) Say thank you. All feedback will lead to learning. No matter what.

2) Notice any impulse to be defensive, argumentative, dismissive, doubt, or attack the delivery of the feedback (bad timing, unkind, etc...). If you're reaction to the feedback is anything in this neighborhood...just say - "ok, thank you, let me think more about that." Find someone who can coach you (not commiserate) as you integrate the learning.

3) Ask yourself, "How is this true?" (Not, "Is this true?")

Cheers to getting more feedback!

Love,

Marijke Ocean

P.S. If you need a coaching partner to make sense of the feedback you are getting...I'm your gal! Schedule an Explore Coaching session and we can talk more!

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6 Steps To Increase Grounded Confidence

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Saying no is hard!