Frustrated? Locate yourself in the learning cycle.
One of the reasons change is so hard is that we become disoriented.
Changes big and small strand us in the wilderness without a trail or a map.
What are the rules here?
Which path do I take?
Are there dangerous parts up ahead?
What happens at the end?
Where are the snacks?
If disorientation is the source of discomfort some simple orienting is the cure. Which is why I recommend, in the midst of change...
Locate yourself in this basic learning model.
Stage 1: Unconscious incompetence. ("Ignorance is bliss!")
Stage 2: Conscious incompetence. ("WTF! I'm terrible at this...")
Stage 3: Conscious competence. ("I'm exhausted, I can't do this much longer.")
Stage 4: Unconscious competence. ("Hey, I've got the hang of this!")
When a lot has changed... (As in: a new job, a divorce, a big move, becoming a parent, retirement, grieving a significant loss)
...Expect these stages to take at least a year to cycle through.
How to work with this
Think back to big changes in life you’ve already navigated.
What were your go to thoughts or patterns in each stage?
How long did it take to navigate?
Did it ever feel hopeless?
Did it get better?
How long did that take?
If you want a partner to help talk this through, email me and we will find a time!
Love,
Marijke Ocean