Leave a Little Gas in the Tank
You cannot serve from an empty vessel.
- Eleanor Brown
I have a favorite yoga instructor (Carrie at East Meets West Yoga) who reminds us to “leave a little gas in the tank” when we are in a challenging pose.
She means for us to save enough energy and strength to exit as gracefully and controlled as we came into the position. It’s a beautiful sentiment and in the yoga studio it's abundantly clear that it is a skillful thing to do for health, strength, and joy.
It struck me that there was wisdom in this off the yoga mat too.
In school, in sports, at work I worshipped at the altar of “giving it your all.”
I was proud to not have anything left to give.
Proud to not save any energy or fight or enthusiasm unspent when a task was done.
It was a sign of honor, respect, and commitment to apply this kind of effort.
Many a time, I gave all my energy, patience, emotional and intellectual intelligence in the day to my work, my customers, and my team at work.
Then arriving home, I didn’t have any creativity, humor, flexibility, or playfulness left to infuse into giving my kids a bath or visiting with my partner.
At some point, I had to admit that this form of personal religion didn’t feel very honorable or respectful to myself or my family anymore. And the resentment I felt towards work didn’t feel honorable or respectful either.
So, should we strive to give it all to a partner, children, work, friends, home, personal health and community?
Neuroscience shows us that maximum effort all the time leads to lower problem-solving ability, less creativity, more fear-based, survival thinking. It also hinders the development of interpersonal connections, empathy and imagination.
In practical terms, we end up less engaged and interested in our activities and eventually we face burnout and exhaustion. I have lived this first hand.
So the fundamental premise that we should give it our all, all the time, is flawed.
In fact, the skillful way to tackle any of these activities on any given day is to “leave enough gas in the tank” to transition to the next thing. And to be really clear about how you fill the tank up again as it gets depleted.
This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t give something serious effort – honorable effort – but it requires more experimentation, discernment, and curiosity to find the right amount.
How do you know you’ve given enough energy to something – a person, a project?
How do you refill your tank during the day? And before the next day begins?
I’d love to hear how you experiment or play with these ideas.
Love,
Marijke Ocean Joy
P.S. If you are feeling stuck or out of options for managing your energy throughout the day, I’d love to help. Schedule a free mini-session and allow me to help you start to cut a path out of the woods.